Trying to Choose JOY......

I know everyone has day's like the last few that I have had....I know they do.  Why then on those day's do I feel as if I am the only one in the universe that has kids that are not minding...listening.....doing.   The last three days have been chaotic, unruly, lost.    I have lost my patience, temper and voice.  

So I opened my eyes this morning and resolved that it was going to be different.....it was going to be calming and peaceful... I choose to make this day GREAT!!!!  I choose to take JOY from today!   I am choosing to let things that really don't matter go and to focus on the fact that God gave me one more day to immerse myself and my kids in His Grace.   Today is going to be Wonderful!

Happenings......

   Oh blogging.....I just haven't found the time for it in recent months.  We have been busy with our business and the kids "farm"  and with remodeling projects on our house (so we can sell eventually) and just general everyday life.  

    The kids "farm"  is 20 acres that we lease to run cows on.  Part of our lease agreement is that we fix the fences and do the upkeep on it in exchange for a discounted price.  We don't mind this and actually enjoy it....it is just very time consuming considering this pasture hasn't had anything done to any of it's fences in 20 yrs.  :)   We have came a long ways and the kids now have 5 momma cows 5 calves and a bull.......  Progress.

    We have been doing some projects around the house.  When we moved here 5 yrs ago, it was only supposed to be for a year or less and we would get something bigger.  With job changes and economy issues, money got tight and we have ended up staying here....on 1 acre in a double wide trailer.  Don't get me wrong, it is home.  Every time I drive up to it...I think "home sweet home"  but we are at the point where we are able to get something bigger and get our babies back to country living....in order to sell this place though, we have to fix the wear and tear that 5 yrs of kids has done to it.  We have started on outside stuff...re-painting, new porches, fence work...etc.  It is all worth it, but very time consuming and doesn't leave much time for fun stuff like blogging. 

     Our school year is wrapping up and I think this year we may actually get to take a summer break! :)  We still do Math and Reading through the summer but only a day or so a week and not very intensive...and of course everyday living... but our History, Science and Language Arts will be done by the end of next week.  

    Hopefully, I can start blogging again and find some interesting things to blog about ;) 

Blessings
Cryssi

Layered Salad

 I mad this for a baby shower at our mom's night a couple of weeks ago.  It turned out pretty good, the kids love it and it is pretty healthy....

Layered Salad

Baby Spinach (about 6 oz)

2 or 3 Roma Tomato's diced

2 or 3 Green onions diced

1 small bag Frozen sweet peas (thawed)

1 Cup Mayo (with Olive oil)

a handful of real bacon bits  (or 1-2 slices bacon cooked and crumbled)

1/4 c shredded cheese (your choice of flavor..I used fiesta blend)

     In a pretty serving bowl (preferably one you can see through :) )  Layer all ingredients in order from Spinach to cheese....spread the Mayo out a little.   To serve, either toss  or serve as is and let everyone get a little of what they want.... 

I also made a punch to go with it.  

Strawberry Pineapple Punch

1 can frozen pineapple juice concentrate (thawed)

1 can frozen limeade (thawed)

1 liter club soda

4 cups water

Ice

Strawberries hulled and cut 

In a gallon size serving pitcher, mix juice, limeade, soda and water.  Add Ice and Strawberries to liking and serve.  

Blessings

Cryssi

The Ads on my page...

Just to let everyone know,  I have no idea why there are ads on my page...I did not put them there....If anyone knows how to get rid of them please let me know.  If they are offensive, I am so sorry!!!!!!  Again, I did not put them there. 

Cryssi

One-day-at-a-time..........

   Well, we are home from most of our traveling.  We had a great time.  It was a long, exhausting month, but I think we all needed it.  It gave us time for us...just to be with each other and while yes, we had a destination in mind that day, and we had a certain amount of time to get there, our day's were fun filled and eye opening.  

  You see, Sept 9th is coming up pretty fast.   It REALLY doesn't seem like it has been a year but it has.  In the last year, I have done pretty much nothing.   About this time last year, I had our school year all planned out, I mean organized down to what we were going to do in 15 min increments...(because according to the Charlotte Mason style of teaching, that is the best way to do it...no more than 15 min so the child doesn't lose focus..right?)    Well, on Sept 9th, my school schedule went out the window.... we didn't do school for three months...  Don't get me wrong, we tried.  We would get up and say our prayers...mostly half heartedly  because it is hard to pray to a God who let your son die.  (Don't judge me because of my feelings during grief).    We would do our daily Bible reading.  The kids would ask questions that I still don't have the answers to.  We would move on to handwriting....and that is where our day started to really unravel...because that was about as long as we could go without crying.   So we put the school books on the shelf.   We enjoyed snuggling, playing, crying....answering questions the best way I knew how...going on trips with Daddy, buying cows :)  and just being us.  

We still have not gotten back into the school routine....we may never do "school" as most see it.  We have a different perspective on life now.  I know they have to learn how to read, write, add, subtract and all that...I know they need an education.  But they also need LOVE, PATIENCE, ATTENTION.  They need to know that Momma is ok.  That Daddy is ok.  That they are ok.  That yes, we miss our bubba Jack....we always will, but that we are going to be ok.    They need to know that even though Momma does not have all the answers, not even close...that I will try to help them sort through their emotions when they need me too....and not "in a minute".     It's hard to make myself get up at 6 a.m. and have my quiet time..because if I am awake at 6:30 (the time when we believe with all our hearts that Jack died), a feeling I have yet to put a word to hits me and I just cannot stand it.  So I sleep in until 6:30 when I awake automatically anyway and then have my quiet time.  It is hard to have school, or even a "normal" day when it rains....all Jason knows, or has processed is that he woke up with Daddy gone and when Daddy come back, his bubba Jack was forever gone.....so when it rains, Daddy doesn't get away from Jason.....not even for a minute......  There are day's when it's not raining if Paul has been gone longer than Jason can handle, it is a fight to get anything done at all...school or not....because Jason has sensory problems and cannot process that Daddy will be back soon....or that he hasn't really been gone as long as it seems....so it is a keep Jason calm day....you can't do school with that.     It doesn't take much to throw Jason's day off...and there are day's that I can just see the wheels in his head turning....trying to figure all this out...and I just wait and wait and wait...and then the melt down happens.  Because he just cannot process it all.....but he doesn't know how to communicate what is on his mind either.....he's only 4 after all...and 4 yr olds aren't supposed to lose their brother....their hero.   Someday he will put it all together, and when he does, it will help I hope...maybe we can get some of our normal back.....


I will not lie and say that we are "ok"   I don't know if our world will ever be "ok "again....but we are ok.  And I wonder if only someone who has experienced this kind of grief can understand..... And just for clarification, I only blamed God for about a week or two.....and then my anger at Him went away.  I still do not understand why He let Jack die....I probably never will, but I have accepted it.   

We needed our trip though...we needed that reconnect time...as a family, as a husband and wife, as a mother and her children and as a father and his children.  We needed it.   We may need some more before the year is over....and if we do, we will take it.  We have learned that we don't put off until next week what we need this week....if we need a day with Daddy, we take it.  If Momma need's some quiet time, she get's it.  If Kylie needs momma time, she gets it.  We have learned that by taking  one-day-at-a-time, we are making it...slowly,surely, we are making it.

Cryssi
 

Goings on.....

Life has been decidedly busy around here lately.    Our business has picked up to the point that we are going going gone...   Starting next week, we will be gone on at least one overnight trip a week if not all week long for most of the summer.   We have two trips to California, one to the north, and one the southern Ca.  On the one to the north, we will be dropping off equipment in Northern Colorado, Nevada, and then Ca.   The one in southern Ca is just that...but it is almost all the way to L.A.   

Then we have a few Tx. trips, Alabama, Louisiana, and Kansas.   Add Church Camp, our Grandson Eli's birthday, and we have a full summer. 

All of this is okay though.  It keeps my mind occupied and off of sadder less enjoyable things. 

The kids and I have been trying to finish up school for this year.  We got way behind and now have to work through the summer to finish the books they are on by August.  We can and will do it....just gotta have patience. 

It got HOT here the last couple of days.  Not as hot as it will get, but hotter than I like it.  I cannot take the heat....after getting to hot when I was younger, I have never been able to re adapt my body to the heat...so we do alot of fun summer inside activities and alot of sprinklers and kiddie pools.   I also don't know how to swim....any tips on how an adult can learn how to swim would be helpful.   It used to embarrass me that I don't know how to swim...but not anymore.... It is just part of me...I want to learn, and I have no fear of water, I was just never taught.   My kids are supposed to start learning this summer.  Paul says he will teach them.   I don't want them to grow up not knowing.   So the creek will be in our agenda a lot this summer....

Something else my kids have never done is to catch crawdads....I want them to learn this and enjoy it.   Fishing also sounds wonderful, if I can find our fishing poles...

So see our summer is so full of fun and love and family time!!!! 

I have a few more post swimming around in my head so I will try to get them up before long.  I am looking at a new phone so that I can blog easier from the road.  We will see how that goes. 

Blessings to all and have a wonderful summer!!!
Cryssi

Monday Meanderings

Bible Study:  Finished Crazy Love....now to find a new book....

Memory Verse:  Not doing this right now...

♥Husband Encouragement♥:   Just supporting him in everyday life.....we've both been through alot this past year and just need to be there for each other every day!
♥Make something special for him....money's been tight and he has been eating whatever I come up with...I may take him out for Mexican one night.
♥ give him more time to work on lessons....he has been doing good with what time he has...but I really need to make sure he has more time. 
To Train Them Up:
 * Keep Reading with Them....
* Back on chores and school routine
* Praise them more!!!!!!   I tend to fall into the old routine of just expecting them to do stuff...and not giving them praise for it when it is done...REALLY NEED TO KEEP THIS UP!
* Do Character traits with them again...we have really fell behind on doing these.
Personal Goals:
* Stop Drinking Pop..... I did quit....but see below post...I started back again..now it's time to QUIT!
* Start Walking again....  Been riding my new Bike instead. :)
* Get up 30 min earlier in the mornings and get my shower and quiet time before the rest of the house wakes up.   (getting there)

New Habit of the Month:  I'm keeping up three months at a time just as a reminder of what habits I need to keep up.
        *March- Clean the kitchen before bed every night.  Was doing this at one time and got out of practice... :)
*  April-  With Spring here, our area by our back door is out of control.....Need to keep this picked up every day. 
* May - Pick up living room nightly.  It has been just getting left with whatever is out. 
Must Do:
  *  Enjoy my kids!!!!
  *Enjoy my kids!!!!!
  * Just relax!!!!
* Get curriculum orders ready so that books will be here by summer.....so I can then plan and get everything ready by August.  even though we school all year, August is typically when we start new books.


Zone:  Not doing zones anymore


Menu:  TBD
Monday: 
Tuesday:  
Wednesday: 
Thursday: 
Friday: 

Fun Things:
* Getting to enjoy this cool weather! (Before the heat sets in)

* Several Projects going on around the house.

Three  Things I am Thankful for! (yes, I am still thankful for these things...and they seem to be staying at the top of my mind right now. :) )
* My beautiful babies.....can't get enough of them right now...
* My wonderful amazing husband!  I will never understand how he does all that he does...and still has more to give!
* The ability to home school our children and to travel with my husband. Absolutely Love It!!!!!

If you want to join in on Monday Meanderings, visit Sarah to link up!


Cryssi